I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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