soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
