i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
