Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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