So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
