If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
