You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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