Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My cat gives me a boner
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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