he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
