foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
