I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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