and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
