I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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