I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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