How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
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He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
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I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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