Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
