with your own penis?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
