Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize