I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
