What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize