If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
All I want is dick and wine.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
