I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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