Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i believe in u and ur pee
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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