Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
