Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
