how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
