He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
