I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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