so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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