Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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