I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Please, let me fuck your mom
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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