whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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