I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
