I don't think brook has ever known best
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
