woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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