How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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