whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize