I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
