My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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