Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
