In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
