Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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