i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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