Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
