Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
