I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
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