After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
