We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
