I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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