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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well I just put wine in my tea
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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