I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize