i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
