Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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