I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize