Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
