i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
