Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
