Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You left your phone here
Wait...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
